The Sneaky Trap of Surrender
Mar 13, 2023
To use surrender and devotion as means to get your man to act a certain way for you, will invert the polarities in your relationship, and dry up the chemistry and respect you have for each other.
In our journey of deepening into union with Masculine, we oscillate between these two extremes (both are part of our feminine maturation process):
#1. Demanding your man to change for you from a place of childhood wounds and feminine ego.
This robs you of the strength and potency you desire from him the most.
#2. Blindly submitting to a man when you know in your heart he is not meeting you in the frequency of your yearnings, while trying to put a bandaid on your diminishing respect for him. You busy yourself with “what more self-work can I do to heal because I need to surrender to him.”
This is actually disrespecting and emasculating him on all levels.
A woman who lives as the gatekeeper of union knows when to take full ownership of the EXTENSIVE and lifelong healing work she must do, and when to graciously hold the space that honors his freedom, while witnessing him in his choices.
Women, it is 100% your responsibility to express the emotional truth of your yearnings.
But it is not your responsibility to *make* him receive that from you or to change for you. You can choose to RECEIVE his “not receiving and not providing” as masculine provision - as data for you to know what is true and essential for you.
You can be the lady who bestows a favor on her knight as he’s riding off to battle, and the beauty who inspires her hero to slay the dragon.
But you cannot fight the battles for him by thinking that through your inner work and devotion, he will change *for* you.
Devotion from a place of manipulation IS manipulation. It is coming from "if I do this, then I can get you to do…for me.”
(This applies to all your relationship with the Masculine - including with God, and with money).
Much of this calls for deeper discernment in the body through healing the many layers of trauma disguised as desires, your willingness to take full responsibility for everything you receive as masculine provision, and your capacity to self-hold your full range, while remaining surrendered and open to the process.
