The Masculine Is Not Convenient. He is Catalyzing
Aug 15, 2024
I often hear women describe the ideal partner they’re hoping to meet, that looks and feels a lot like all the traits they’ve compiled from following the masculine accounts on Instagram.
If your vision of a perfect relationship is meeting a men’s coach who’s a mentee of David Deida, who will lead future couples retreats with you, who is oozing masculine presence at all times that you can simply rest in your feminine, my first tip is for you to get off social media, and plug back into your body.
I’m absolutely not saying this isn’t a possibility (more or less, given relational dynamics between a man and woman are fluid, and do not fall into dogmatic polarity boxes).
At the same time, while many of my clients are coaches, their men are builders, project managers, restaurant owners, and lawyers. These are men who aren’t facilitating retreats, but are good men who are committed to protecting and providing for their families.
Holding a luminous creational field desiring a man who’s worthy and good, so we may fully devote to him is beautiful.
Yet in my work, there are very subtle but profound nuances and qualitative differences between a desire that is generated from a wound, or from our Woman.
The rite of passage of embodying this level of clarity, is a somatic descent into the dark, damp, rich soils of the Oracular Truth (shadows and wisdom) of what needs to be felt, and integrated inside our cervix and womb. Which then alchemize what’s in our heart.
To truly receive the love and sword (most likely, both at the same time) of a masculine man, is to slay your egoic preferences and long list of qualifications of “this is how I want to be led by a man.”
His primality is less about pleasing you and making it more convenient for you to “be in your feminine.”
And more about penetrating into every layer within you that is laced with distortion and density - including, the projection of an unrealistically perfect relationship, and what masculine primality is.
In a world that tries to inject doubt into his lion heart and crush his erect spine, a man who’s embodied in his warrior strength and values will most often inconvenience you:
- Your ego.
- Your emotions.
- Your expectations.
- Your social image, or who you want others to perceive you to be.
- Your unhealed little girl wounds that are diluting the eros of your Woman.
- Your fortress of armors, wounds, and defenses.
There is great nuance to “is my desire for a masculine man coming from my wound, or my Woman?”
The former is tinted with the flavor of an idealized Instagram-perfect-couple.
The latter requires deep devotion to work through the kinks that will inevitably come up in your relationship, while receiving the imperfect human man, and evoking the exalted Masculine in him.
It takes a woman a deep, humbling descent - diving into the suppleness of her vulva, wisdom portal of her cervix, and wellspring of her womb chalice, before she can hold the body safety to willingly and tantalizingly open her sex, heart and throat, for the deep catalyzing penetration of his sex, sword, and word.
This is a woman who has been crowned through her own ring of fire, who holds her Oracular Truth and Creational Field, that inspires HIM - the Masculine, to birth Kingdoms through her.
